Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
