At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
