My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.