My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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