Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
