Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
