8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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