My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
