Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
