No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
