She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
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She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
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I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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