my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
