just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
