remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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