i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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