Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
