BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
