I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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