What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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