she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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