that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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