Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
