sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
