did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
