I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
