Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just had sex bonerless
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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