u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize