I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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