I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I party with great urgency now.
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