My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i think i have two assholes
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
