That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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