Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
