We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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