you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize