I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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