That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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