You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He did a backflip because drugs
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
