I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
