dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
this hospital has no fireball
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
