haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
