Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
