I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You ate ashes out of my bong
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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