reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I AM VODKA MAN
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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