I just made out with a guy for $7.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
