i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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