Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
