I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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