he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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