You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
