your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
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We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
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Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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