Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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