where am i from again
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
