Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
