if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
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