You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
lol hangovers are for mortals.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
