i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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