Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
