I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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