hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
