Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
