im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
