hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
