White coat. Heels.
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Randomize
