2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
