I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
why is half of my head shaved?
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