ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
