Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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