The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
