i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
