bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
