brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Pants 0. Shit 1.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
